im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
