Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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