Can Purell be used as lube?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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