Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
