also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
