Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
