are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
