Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
