Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i've created a new STD.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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