haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
