That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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