Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
