what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
