ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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