i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
