Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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