I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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