I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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