big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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