PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
