she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
