We won't sleep together?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
