Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
