Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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