Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
