I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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