Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
