so explain again why im purple
no
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
