Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
