Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
