yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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