Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
