Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
