So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
