I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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