Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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