a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
being pregnant is like rehab
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
