He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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