your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
