i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
