Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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