I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
