8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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