do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
the liver wants what the liver wants
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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