i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
