I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
