god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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