marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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