i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
