It's like God shit irony all over that family
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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