It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
