so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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