just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
